Unspoken

Words gone unspoken. Words I wish I could have said but it is too late. One of my biggest regrets is having so much to say and not saying it to him. I told Edmond I loved him but I fear I didn't tell him enough or say all I could. Now he is right in front of me and I am terrified of being pushed away again. I feel that his feelings have dwindled or burned out. I wish I could say the same for me. with my husband on trial and being accused of awful things, I have no one to turn too, and my world is coming to an end. I try to find the happiness in the money my husband has saved up or in my sons smile. But the life and will to live has almost drained out of me completely. I have no distractions anymore and I feel like i need to have some sort of outlet that will be mine only. Some place that I can escape the chaos. I sometimes catch myself thinking 'what if' but the more I dwell on that the harder it is to move on. But the biggest question really is, what if?