Lies In The End

Finally realeased from my sorrows. I have been focused on the outcome of my husbands trial and wondering how all this started. I was told he killed the counts mistress' father. She spoke in the trial claiming to remember my husband from when she was 4. Her mother told her to always remember Fernand's face. Even though I do not love Fernand I do not want Albert to see his father like this. On trial and being put away in jail. its something no son deserves to see. Albert has great respect for his father whether he was there for him or not. I feel even more alone not knowing the truth. Marseilles seems to be filling up with less and less people and more and more lies. I do not know what is the truth anymore. It seems like everyone is about as confused as me. I wish I was not in the position I am in. I am losing someone I do not have many feelings for but at the same time I am losing someone else. When this is all said and done I shall have more questions than answers. I pray this ends soon, and hopefully it will.

Unspoken

Words gone unspoken. Words I wish I could have said but it is too late. One of my biggest regrets is having so much to say and not saying it to him. I told Edmond I loved him but I fear I didn't tell him enough or say all I could. Now he is right in front of me and I am terrified of being pushed away again. I feel that his feelings have dwindled or burned out. I wish I could say the same for me. with my husband on trial and being accused of awful things, I have no one to turn too, and my world is coming to an end. I try to find the happiness in the money my husband has saved up or in my sons smile. But the life and will to live has almost drained out of me completely. I have no distractions anymore and I feel like i need to have some sort of outlet that will be mine only. Some place that I can escape the chaos. I sometimes catch myself thinking 'what if' but the more I dwell on that the harder it is to move on. But the biggest question really is, what if?

Profound Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2psAnXsS3g8

Spare My Heart

After my beloved Dantes supposedly died in prison, I was heart broken. I still am. Until the handsome Count of Monte Cristo saved my dear son, Albert, from being killed by Italian bandits. At that moment I realized he was my beloved Dantes, somehow escaped from the awful prison life. I soon learned of Albert's rage towards the count and that Albert was challenging the count to a duel. I was once again in fear for my sons life. I begged the count to spare his life. I know the counts secret and I shall not dare tell a soul. I feel like I have been replenished with life because I know that my lover is safe. I pray that his feelings remain true to me as mine have for so long. I am so unhappy with my life with Fernand. Our marriage was rushed and not based on love but by the empty hole in my heart. I long to feel again towards someone the way Edmond and I felt about each other. I fear it may be too late but by Gods will, maybe he will smile upon my loyalty to Edmond. Love is powerful, and I believe mine for Edmond is strong.

Sorrows

My name is Mercedes de Morcef. I am reluctantly married to my cousin. He loved me once but I am no longer sure he does. I married him after finding out my one and only love, Edmond Dantes, had died in the prison Chateau d'If. He was accused of treason and conspiracy against the king. Obviously the royalists were quite offended. I, however, am still in total and complete love with him. Alas nothing can be done. I have one son named Albert. Because of how unsupportive my husband is, I raise him on my own. I've raised him to respect his elders and choose his friends wisely. It's hard feeling alone. I have no one to talk to about my feelings or what to do with them. Our marriage is covering up scandals that shouldn't be released. Even our friends have 'affairs' they would like to keep quiet. But no one ever does anything about the matters. I believe everyone is scared of the consequences. I know I would be. I wish this wasn't complicated. It's even harder to bear with no one to talk to. I feel like there is a part of me that still believes Edmond, dearest Edmond, is still alive.